Whiskey And Blood
by xXCowboyDanXx
Summary: It's been three years. Three whole, long, lonely, awful years since I've seen him last. Dallas Winston, my brother. Him and our dad left back in the summer of 1960, probably mid-July. Please read and review! Title may change...
1. Prologue

**Hello, xXCowboyDanXx here! This is my first Outsiders fanfiction, so constructive criticism is very, very welcome. I know it's a "sister fic", which is often highly frowned upon here..:p However, I used a "Mary-Sue Litmus Test" that I found on the world wide web, and my OC was in little danger of it being a Mary Sue, so that was reassuring.. This chappie is kind of short, but it's just meant to be a prologue. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Yeah.**

It's been three years.  
Three whole, long, lonely, awful years since I've seen him last.

Dallas.

Dallas Winston, my brother. Him and our dad left back in the summer of 1960, probably mid-July. I remember walking up the dilapidated steps to our rundown apartment, sweating so much that my shirt stuck to my back and my heavy blonde hair clung in little tendrils to my neck. I climbed the stairs two at a time, desperate to get inside to grab something to drink. My mom stood on the balcony, a cigarette smoking lazily in her hand. The smoke seemed to hang in the air a bit longer than usual, the acrid smell burnt my nose and the back of my throat.

"Your dad and Dallas are gone." she stated nonchalantly, flicking ash over the railing. I recall not believing her, going to the fridge to grab a Coke.  
"Oklahoma, I think. Tulsa." she finished before taking along drag on her cigarette.  
"Gone? Like, away?" I asked, frowning, unsure of what she meant. I took in her stern expression and the way her shoulders sagged and my eyes grew wide as I finally realized that she was serious.  
"I'm going out. I think there's leftovers in the fridge, under the foil.", she growled, as if it were any other day. As if my brother and dad hadn't left me.  
Grabbing her purse and keys, she made her way out the door.  
"Hey! Dallas is never coming back?" I called after her, but she was already gone, the deadbolt sliding into place.

Before I could help it, tears welled up in my eyes. He was my brother. He was my friend. My life even. I loved Dallas.. I didn't care so much about my dad; most of the time he was too drunk to acknowledge my existence, and when he was sober he still managed to beat me around the house. But he was my daddy, so I still loved him. Thick tears, hot and fat fell across my cheeks as it finally sank in that I might not ever see him again.

Now, I guess my mama's dead. She left one night and simply never came back; she probably overdosed on one of the many poisons that she shot into herself on a daily basis, or those little white pills she was always sneaking.  
I've thought about it for a while now, and I guess a thirteen year old can't live on their own to long, at least not without a job of some sort, or maybe a rich relative. I have neither, so I guess my only choice is too go find him in Oklahoma. I've got 25 dollars in my pocket that I've saved from babysitting, and I combed the couch cushions for loose change that may come in handy. I'm hoping that's enough to hitchhike half way across the country. If it's not, I'm not sure what I'll do, so I hope I'll find him real quick.

Tulsa, here I come.

**So? What did you think? Drop me a review or PM me with any advice or comments. I'll update as soon as I know that people are reading it! c: **

**Tah Tah For Now,  
xXCowboyDanXx**


	2. Chapter 1

**Howdy! xXCowboyDanXx here! Second chappie up (I lied.. I put it up before reviews or anything cause I know I won't have time later..) Anyway, hope you guys like it..**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.**

My head snapped upright, eyelids flying open. Groggy and disoriented, I looked around with bleary eyes. At first I couldn't figure out where I was, and I started to panic, my chest tight and breaths coming in quick gasps. My mouth tasted horrible, and I wiped my tongue on my coat sleeve, trying to get rid of the taste. I was in a car- that was easy enough to deduce- but I didn't remember who I was riding with. I've driven with so many people the past couple weeks that they all seem to blend together; most of them are creepy guys who offer to drive me if I show them my chest. I'm not proud of what I've done to hitch a ride, but I guess it's my only option if I want to find Dallas eventually. I'm assuming that this was the case with my current situation based on the driver's age and the Playboy magazines littering the floor of the truck cab.

It was still dark outside, and I had no clue what time it was. There was barely any moon, just a pale sliver left hanging in the sky with a small sprinkling of stars. I glanced nervously over to the driver's seat, but he had his eyes on the road so I relaxed a bit. Usually I refrained from falling asleep in the cars of strangers when I was traveling, but I guess I must have dozed off without realizing it. I was just too tired...  
Maybe it was the fact that I've been sleeping in cars for the past week or that I haven't had a decent meal since I left home, but it seems like I am constantly dead to the world. Still, I don't regret leaving home. There was nothing left for me there. I had no future, no family, and no sense of belonging. Once I got to Tulsa, I'd have a new start. Maybe I'd enroll in the local middle school, join a sports team, make some new friends. I never really had any close friends aside from Dallas back home either.  
But all that would change in Tulsa..

I slouched in my seat, daydreaming, until I eased back into a light sleep, my eyelids sliding shut.

When I woke up next, it was still dark, but we weren't moving. I sat up in my seat, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand. I could tell my hair was a complete mess, a matted, unwashed rat's nest. I tried to smooth it down with my fingers.  
"You're still cute with a little bed head.." a voice purred in my ear, and I jumped, the hair standing up on the back of my neck. My driver tucked a loose strand behind my ear and I pulled away, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Where are we at?" I inquired, ignoring his hand, now now resting on my shoulder.

"We're a few miles away from Jefferson City. But I won't go any further until I get my payment." he murmured. He was close to me, and I could feel his breath, hot and pungent on my face. I wrinkled my nose and reached for the door handle, but it wouldn't open.

Locked.

"Nice try sweetheart.." he whispered with a wink. My stomach turned to ice as I realized his intentions. I mentally kicked my self for falling asleep; my exhaustion was going to cost me my virginity. He was undoing his zipper and I started to shake.

"Don't worry babe, it'll be over quick.." he reassured me, but I was no calmer than before.

It wasn't quick at all. Never in my life have I been more humiliated, more ashamed, more invaded. What he did to me made me hate myself. I hated how I slid into his trap. I felt so _stupid._

I came to realize that the last thing I wanted to do was drive for hours with a rapist, so once he was finished and I had my pants back on I told him to let me out, that I'd walk from here.

"You sure? Tulsa's a long way away." he said, but I objected.

He pulled over and as soon as I got out of the truck I violently threw up on the side of the road. I finally let the tears fall, sobs wracking my chest as I puked what felt like all my organs onto the pavement. I waited until I saw his truck disappear out of sight before I started to walk, but I was still really shaken up.

It was November and it wasn't long until I was shivering, my hands shoved deep in my pockets. I felt like an ice cube by the time I saw a neon gas station sign glowing green in the distance. The bell dinged cheerfully as I walked in and a rush of warm air greeted me.  
I pretended to look at the brightly packaged merchandise while I waited for the feeling to come back to my numb fingers and toes. I slid a small Swiss army knife into my coat pocket when no one was looking, I needed some protection if I was going to be on the streets. I bought a Coca Cola and was momentarily devastated by how thin my cash stash seemed to be. What as I going to do once I was broke, starve? I've always been kind of scrawny, and I don't think I could afford to lose more than five pounds or so..

I asked the cashier where the nearest consignment store was; my girlish clothes- a skirt, tights, and a sweater- attracted the wrong kind of crowd. If I was going to get to Tulsa, I had to look more androgynous to avoid being assaulted again.  
As soon as I stepped outside, I pulled the knife out of my pocket and grabbed a clump of my hair before sawing it all off. I wasn't sad to see it go; it was too difficult to take care of anyway. I looked at my pale reflection in the gas station window and was surprised to see a skinny, blonde boy staring back at me with big eyes. He was wearing a skirt, but the consignment store would change that. I definitely could pull it off. I've always lacked curves.

Now all I had to do was grab some new clothes and I was ready to go.

Tulsa, I'm almost there.

**Please Read and Review, it would be marvelous, as well as helpful. c:**

**-xXCowboyDanXx**


	3. Chapter 2

**Hi! This is the third chappie (kind of a mishmash of a couple different parts I wrote that were too short to stand on their own, but I guess they kind of fit together..). I hope my formatting is right; my computer's kind of being a butt right now. Lastly, I'd like to thank you people for the small smattering of reviews I have received so far! Much love to you guys, they were very appreciated. **

**Disclaimer: Still don't own anything. Never will, but it is still a necessary clarification..:P**

**Enjoy!**

**xxxxxx**

I don't know how long it's been since I first left New York, but it seems like my residency there was a lifetime ago. I guess it was; I've become a completely different person after leaving. I guess that's what happens when you're on your own for a while.

Mentally, I'm a wreck.

I know nobody. There's not a friendly face or conversation. No one to tell me it will be alright, or help me up when I'm feeling down. Not that New York was the epitome of socialization, but at least I was familiar with the people and the places.  
Here, I'm lost; completely alone. I've gotten paranoid that the police are on my trail, following my every move, waiting to throw me in jail for running away.  
Constantly looking behind me, always avoiding cops. The last thing I want is to be sent back to New York when I've tried so hard to get away, or even worse, be put into some kind of foster home.

Physically, I'm starving, freezing, and sick.

Hunger set in shortly before I arrived in Tulsa, after my cash ran out. Who knew that food would be so expensive? I'm lucky if I eat once a day; I'm a damn skeleton.  
My hip bones poke out sharp and hard, and my elbows are thicker than my arms themselves. Hollow cheeks, dead eyes, and dull hair. I try to avoid mirrors; I don't want to see what the starvation is doing to me. It's almost December, and Oklahoma isn't as cold as New York, but I still feel like I'm a popscicle.  
I can only loiter in shops for so long it till I'm kicked out, and the rest of the time I spend wandering the streets, searching for my brother. I scan the crowds for his blonde hair, but so far, no luck.  
It has snowed once or twice, and I wake up under a blanket of white, my coat frozen stiff. My cheeks are rough and windburnt and my lips are always bleeding in the dry air.

And now, I'm sick.

A few days ago I started to cough. I blew it off as nothing, maybe a simple cold. Anyways, even if it _was_ something, I knew I couldn't do anything about it. It's gotten worse, and I find myself choking on my own breath till my face turns purple.

This rough living, I'm not sure how much longer I can do this.

Tulsa, you've gotten the best of me.

**xxxxxx**

I pulled up the collar of my jacket, a futile attempt to keep the frigid wind out. My fingers were stuffed deep into my pockets, aching with cold. I coughed before spitting bitterly on the ground.  
The sidewalk was slowly freezing over, and I struggled to keep my footing on the pavement. I didn't know where I was going. I was just doing that.  
_Going.  
_No one to see, no place to go. I just... existed. I couldn't seem to find Dallas for the life of me. What if he wasn't even here in the first place? It killed me to even think of that; that all my struggles have been for nothing.

I was vaguely aware that someone was walking behind me, but it still surprised me when they called out.

"Hey Dal. Where's Johnny at?" they said.

I kept walking. My name wasn't Dal, and I knew no Johnnys; clearly they were mistaken. I slouched a bit, hoping that he would leave me alone.

"Dallas?" they called again.

I stopped, my heart beginning to beat faster, leaping into my throat. Slowly I turned to face him, a boy, probably about my age. He had reddish hair, and soft eyes.

"Oh, sorry. You looked like a friend of mine..." he stammered, blushing furiously. He seemed confuse despite his embarrassment, a perplexed look on his face.

"It's just you look a lot like him.. Maybe not your eyes I guess." he continued, looking me up and down.

"Dallas?" I asked, my voice hoarse. "Dallas who?"

My heart beat was loud in my ear; I could feel my pulse thrumming in my temple.

"Dallas Winston." he stating, continuing to look at me curiously.

At first I thought I might faint. My stomach felt queasy and my breath hitched in my throat. It was too good to be true. It took me a moment to recover from the shock, but I finally responded.

"Where can I find him?" I inquired.

"I'm not exactly sure to be honest... he's either at the Dingo or Buck Merrill's place." he said, gesturing down the street.

I didn't recognize either of those place – I'd only been in Tulsa a few days- but I nodded, thanking the boy.

I walked away with a glimmer of hope; a reason for existing.

Tulsa, I remember why I'm here.

**xxxxxx**

It was getting dark, the sky turning a deep purple, stars twinkling far above. In the east, streaks of peach were still visible, the sun a fading ruby on the horizon. It seemed like two opposite worlds; foreboding darkness and brilliant light.  
Along with the darkness came the chill of night and there was almost always a sense of danger here on the streets; however, in the daytime I felt out of place, too revealed, too exposed.

I stumbled upon Buck Merril's house on accident, a place of obnoxiously loud music and cigarette smoke spilling out the door. It seemed like the kind of place Dallas would hang out. It was tough.  
I could hear roaracious laughter from inside and a cacophony of voices. I wasn't comfortable with going in and demanding to see Dallas; I was just a kid.  
I wasn't even sure if he was even here after all...My heart ached at the thought of the latter.  
I settled on sitting down against a street lamp on the sidewalk in front of the house, leaning against the freezing metal. My legs were to wobbly to carry me any longer and I was mighty tired.

Damn, it was cold.

I felt empty inside and I couldn't recall the last time I'd eaten. A cough racked my body and I leaned my head against the pole.  
I'm not sure how long I sat there waiting, hoping that he would come out.  
I don't know when I fell asleep, but I knew that I woke up a few hours later. I looked around, but everything seemed distorted and tilted. I shook my head to clear it and get rid of the stupor.  
"Charlotte?" someone called from far away.  
I looked up in surprise; I hadn't heard my name in so long.  
But I was suddenly overcome by a wave of dizziness, and the world tilted dangerously. Grey spotted peppered my vision, and it seemed like everything was closing in on me. My head felt heavy on my shoulders and my chest ached.  
What's happening to me Tulsa?

**xxxxxx**

**What did you think? Please, please, please write a review. They make me really darn happy.c: The next update will come as soon, but probably not for another couple days to a week.**

**Buhbye,  
xXCowboyDanXx**


	4. Chapter 3

**Hi there! **

**This the next chapter...c: Thanks to all the brilliant reviews I've received as of late! Nothing makes me happier than a review, aside soup from Panera of course, but that doesn't really count in my opinion. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**xxxxxx**

**Didn't want to post a full author's note chapter, so I just slapped this on here..:P (June 18)**

**Hello!**

**I just wanted to let you know that the next chapter won't be up for at least a week. If you've been on my profile, you may have read that I suffer from Bipolar Disorder, which makes it really hard for me to be a consistent updater. I'm kind of in sunk into a depressive state and will mostly be effected for the next week or so.  
I can only write passionately when I'm manic or having an "up" mood, which currently isn't the case. The medication that I'm on right now hasn't really been doing its job as of late, but I have a psychiatrist appointment this Saturday, so hopefully that will clear things up.  
I'm hoping that in a couple days I'll be back in commission, so I hope to see yah then!c: If anyone has any questions or comments on this, please drop me a PM!**

**-xXCowboyDanXx**

**xxxxxx**

All I wanted to do was curl up into a little ball and die, but someone was nudging me repeatedly in the ribs. Why couldn't they just leave me be? Couldn't they tell I just wanted to be left alone?  
"Stop it..", I mumbled, but it came out as an unintelligible, garbled mess of vowels.  
"Charlotte? Is that really you?"  
The voice was close to my head, and I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders.  
"Hey, kid; look at me!", they commanded, but the last thing I wanted to do was open my eyes due to the incessant pounding in my temples.  
They gave me a small shake and my head lolled on my shoulders. I groaned quietly at the slight movement, but my eyelids managed to flutter open.  
At first I was momentarily blinded by the bright street lights, and my vision was unfocused and blurry. My head reeled and I blinked repeatedly, but after a few seconds my double vision merged and I was able to see who was in front of me.  
His blue eyes were searching my face, and a small smile played at the corner of his lips.

Dallas.  
"Jesus kid, I almost didn't recognize you..", he laughed, ruffling my hair.  
I was suddenly overcome with emotion.  
I'd always been one to keep my feelings bottled up inside, but I guess seeing him for the first time in three years brought everything I'd been repressing bubbling to the surface. It was as if the damn had burst, my true feelings from my childhood of betrayal, hurt, and disappointment rushing forward in a torrent of tears.  
My bottom lip trembled and my brow knitted together as I began to cry, my shoulders shaking as I sat sobbing on the sidewalk. I guess I was just so happy to have found him after so much searching and desperation, that it all felt utterly surreal. Finally, after three years, I had found him.  
His smirk disappeared and he seemed taken aback at my sudden breakdown.  
"G-golly, I-I gue-guess I'm ju-just real glad-d to see you." I managed in between sobs.  
However, all the crying had aggravated my cough, so I sat hacking up a lung for a good minute or two before finally being able to catch my breath.  
"Man, you sound rough.." he remarked, taking in my less than stellar appearance and apparent illness as I sat sniffling on the pavement.  
"It's just a cold. I've been outside too long." I explained as a shiver wracked my body.  
"You don't say? Your lips are fuckin' blue, kid." he replied with a smile.  
He looked down the street and then back at me before pulling on the collar of my jacket.  
"C'mon, lets get outta this weather." he offered, and I stood up, momentarily forgetting how lousy I felt. As soon as I was on my feet, my knees buckled, and the pavement rushed towards my face at full speed. Everything seemed to be spinning, but Dallas grabbed me before I could hit the ground. I managed to get my footing after a minute, but my head still felt all floaty.  
"Christ, you're real white. Don't faint on me now, we've got catching up to do!" he exclaimed, a touch of concern lacing his tone. He wrapped an arm around my waist and started walking down the sidewalk with me half walking, half being dragged alongside. I was just too tired to keep up on my own, but too independent to be downright carried, no matter how weak I was. I don't remember much of the walk, just that I was too tired to really pay attention to where we were going and that it was awful cold. We didn't talk either; I think Dallas knew that I was too out of it to put together a coherent sentence at the moment.

Before I knew it, we were entering the front yard of a sagging, white house. The gate creaked when Dallas pushed it open with his foot and we made our way down the crumbling sidewalk, weeds squeezing up through the cracks towards the sky. All the lights were out in the windows and the shutters were falling off their hinges with peeling paint. I decided that it would be a pretty house if someone spruced it up a bit and gave it some attention.  
We climbed the splintering front steps slowly and the front door squeaked as he swung it open.  
It was dark inside as I stepped over the thresh hold, but I could make out the silhouettes of a couple of chairs and a small couch. It smelt like sawdust and laundry detergent with an after taste of smoke, a homey kind of smell. My family's apartment had always reeked of stale alcohol and cigarettes, and I guess I never thought that anyone else's house would smell any different.

Dallas reached over and flipped on a lamp and my eyes burned at the sudden bright. It finally occurred to me that I wasn't sure where I was..

"Is this your house, Dallas?" I finally whispered.

"Naw, it's a friend's place." he replied, leading me over to the overstuffed sofa, the arm rests worn and threadbare.

He must've seen something flash across my eyes, because he added, "Don't worry, they're good people."

I didn't really give it a second thought; what was I going to do, go back outside and freeze to death?

"Here.", Dallas stated, holding a sweatshirt out to me that he picked out of a laundry basket resting on the coffee table. I peeled off my jacket and slipped it over my head. It was a few sizes too big and I had to roll the sleeves up three times before I had proper use of my hands, but it would keep me warm.

I was still real cold though, and my teeth were chattering loudly. A blanket was tossed over the back of the sofa, so I draped it over my lap in hopes that it would provide some heat.

I let my head lean against the armrest and soon enough, my eyelids began to droop. But of course, I began to cough, reminding me of how rocky I felt. It seemed like someone had been sitting on my chest, and I felt congested and utterly miserable.

"You're going to wake the whole house up..", Dallas muttered before walking out of the room. I heard some cupboards opening and closing quietly as I tried to stifle my obnoxious hacking. He came back soon after, tossing a small box at me, and it hit me in the shoulder with a small thump.

"Oops.." he said smiling, but I was busy investigating its contents. It was clearly cough medicine, the kind that is thick like syrup and tastes like cherries on steroids. I frowned, remembering how awful it tasted, but I knew I'd feel better in the long run. Still, I wasn't looking forward to downing the fowl stuff.

I twisted the cap off with shaking hands, and took a swig straight from the bottle before I could think about it too long. I grimaced and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand before putting the cap back on and placing it on the coffee table.

I kicked off my shoes and pulled my legs up onto the couch under the blanket to try to warm my feet up. Despite the blanket and cozy atmosphere of the house, I was still shaking with cold. Dallas passed another blanket to me, and then another, and another. Eventually I could barely see over the heaping pile, but I was still freezing. I guess the blankets didn't have much to heat with my lack of body fat.

I laid shivering for the longest time, but I was too exhausted to say anything.

"Scoot over." Dallas ordered, and he sat down by my head, and laid an arm over my trembling frame.  
"Glory, you're shaking like a goddamn leaf.." he remarked.

He was thankfully warm and after a small fit of coughs and a couple more frigid minutes, I began to drift off. I seemed to melt into the sofa, and for what seemed like the first time in weeks I felt safe and sound with a roof over my head.

Goodnight, Tulsa.

**xxxxxx**

**This chapter felt really long to me, and it seemed like just a lot of fluff, yet when I tried to slim it down it sounded too choppy and rushed. Ah well...**

**Please review, it would mean the world to me!**

**Much love,**

**xXCowboyDanXx**


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